My man Bryan Johnson is absolutely right…I miss the made-for-TV Horror movie of the 1970s and early 80s.  There was a subtle cheesiness about them that that can NOT be captured in this day and age.  Many have tried, all have failed. But I digress.

Walt purchased a Batman Bowling Ball. That’s all it took to set in motion a series of events that would have DIRE consequences for all of the staff at Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash.  But more on that later.

Those close to Walt Flanagan know how much he loves the old Universal Monsters, and when the First issue of “Famous Monsters of Filmland” walked through the doors of the Stash, Walt lit up like a tilted pinball machine. This was the magazine upon which ALL other horror mags measured themselves. Launched by Publisher Jim Warren and Editor (and MONSTER fan extraordinaire) Forrest Ackermann, it jumped on the bandwagon of Monster movies being released on television, and capitalized on the trend. Walt made a pretty sweet deal for these three books.
The Punisher Shape Shifter…there’s a LOT I could say about this transaction, and all of it bad. The fact that you have a projectile coming out of the Punisher’s crotch is bad enough, but the truly horrific thing about this toy is that the crotch thing is ONLY at the half-way point of the transformation. Do an internet search for the FINAL transformation, and you’ll see where the projectile is SUPPOSED to come out. The boys bought it, and now I have to look at it…EVERY DAY.
Now, let me say a few things about the Clerks team; Each and every one of them is a fantastic person. Brian O’Halloran is a very funny, self deprecating gent whom I’ve had the pleasure of hanging out with at a few Comic Cons. Little known fact about Scott Sciaffo: He writes poetry-and very well may I add! Ernie O’Donnell put my house back together after it got slammed by Superstorm Sandy. And Jay, well, he’s…Jay. He moves like a blender with the lid taken off.
They are competitive bowlers and fun to hang around. While it’s true that we’re not as win-hungry as Walt, I think you’ll agree that we acquitted ourselves pretty well. I’ll let you decide if I got robbed.
And there ya go…

You just KNOW it’s going to be a fun episode when Ming starts off talking about Dr. Manhattan’s…umm, blue junk. I have absolutely NO idea why they scare him so much, but hey…that’s Ming!
As you may have guessed from This week’s title, we have a VERY special guest walk through the doors of the Secret Stash…none other than Lt. Uhura herself, Nichelle Nichols! More on the sweet siren of the spaceways later…
Our first item that walked through the door was Dark Helmet’s Pith Helmet from the movie “SpaceBalls” written and directed by Mel Brooks. I loved this movie, but even I didn’t see it TEN times…and I remember the scene this was in very well…it was classic Mel!
The gentleman who brought it in wanted $6000 for it. Unfortunately, without any paperwork to verify that this was an actual screen used prop, it’s basically just a really cool conversation piece. I’ve said it before, but unless you can authenticate a prop, it holds very little value.
“SpaceBalls” was one of Mel Brooks’ funnier parodies. The adventures of LoneStar, Barff, Princess Vespa and Yogurt hold up well even to this day, especially Pizza the Hut.
The next customer came in looking for X-Men #101, the first time Jean Grey appears as the Phoenix. Bryan constantly razzes me for my love for the character Jean Grey, but to me, she embodied my pre-pubescent dream girl. Bright, beautiful, spunky and powerful…who WOULDN’T fall for a girl like that? I found it quite charming that this young lady empathized with Jean the way she did, and that comics, as a medium, helped her around her dyslexia.
He-Man was not a part of MY childhood, but it tickles me to no end that Ming has such a distaste for the character, as He-Man was such a BIG part of the 80s, which was HIS childhood era. Just the way in which Ming speaks with such venom about the characters that inhabit the He-Man universe makes me laugh. Being a comic geek (albeit one who could pass for normal, sometimes) we should, as Kevin puts it, make room at the table for EVERYONE.
This NECA piece was well sculpted, and updated for the new millennium, with a new haircut and codpieces. It retailed for $275, so Walt made him a more than fair offer.
Now, onto our special guest. It’s no secret that, amongst the Comic Book Men, I am the lone Star Trek fan. I can honestly say that I only became a real fan when I was 13 or 14. It was around this time that a local TV station (WPIX, for those who are curious) started airing episodes at Midnight. Kevin explains the argument of Star Trek versus Star Wars very succinctly and very well: Trek was about fostering diplomacy, while Wars was about ACTION. The logic behind the philosophy of Starfleet appealed to me- “To boldly go…” It was about EXPLORING, something I thought to be so cool.
So with that in mind, you can only imagine my surprise and delight to find Nichelle Nichols standing in the middle of the Stash. It was a really tough assignment, finding an Uhura Mego Mint on Card, but we do have contacts all over the state, and Ming and I shook the branches of every one of ’em.
Ming made it with a minute to spare.
Also surprising was that Bryan ACTUALLY had some cash on him. I think he made out (no pun intended) quite well, and I have NO IDEA what to make of the fact that Nichelle went for a double dip of the Johnson! Congrats, Bry, that may be the only time I’ll ever be jealous of you.
As always, thanks for readingg and tuning in.
And there ya go…